They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am one with the molecules
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
