Whats the glycemic index on semen?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
