Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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