at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dear god my vagina.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
