the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
