you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
