your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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