this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
