just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
