Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
