whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize