best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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