so explain again why im purple
no
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize