May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
