he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My penis needs a shock collar
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
