I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
