She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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