you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
