I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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