I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
