he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
