i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
