Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
