i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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