Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
