Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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