Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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