I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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