guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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