There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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