So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
