How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
