Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
