she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
