threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
