Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
