we're blogging at a bar
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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