U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
