I think I died a long time ago.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
