Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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