it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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