So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
