I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
