i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
