My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
