if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize