and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just found puke in my bra..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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