He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
