i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
