why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
