People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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