I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
