You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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