Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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