so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
