at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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