We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize