Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize