he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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