ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
